“I think you should…”
“I know what you need to do…”
“Take my advice…”
“If I were you…”
Any of that sound familiar?
We are surrounded by other people’s opinions. Even those closest to us, who have our best interests at heart, can unknowingly blur the line between what is right for them and what is right for us. All too often, our family, friends, colleagues etc, who may care about us, are eager to tell us what they think, instead of really hearing us and helping us figure out what we think ourselves.
“People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don't find myself saying, "Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner." I don't try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.”― Carl R. Rogers, A Way of Being
A key person-centred theory is that each and every one of us has a ‘natural’ way of being; who we truly are and what we genuinely value, when external pressures and expectations are put to one side. Throughout life, it’s common for our true self to become thwarted, when other people’s needs are imposed upon us or their values are seen as our own. We can end up habitually living in a way that doesn’t really match who we are deep down, and this can lead to dissatisfaction and unfulfillment.
We might not know who we really are, having lost sight of this along the way. Or, we might have an awareness of our true desires/needs, and know that we’re not living in accordance with these.
How can person-centred therapy help?
Having a space where you feel safe to open up, share your innermost thoughts, and explore who you are… with someone who won’t judge you, criticise you, push their opinion on you, and who supports you to simply be you… is person-centred therapy in a nutshell!
With a competent person-centred therapist, there are no expectations of ‘who’ you should be, except yourself! You are valued as an individual and accepted just as you are. Your worth is unconditional. The therapist’s mission is to truly hear you, empathise with you, and help you start living in alignment with who you really are.
Having the regular therapy space, where you can be yourself and be met with none other than care, warmth, respect and acceptance by your therapist, can help you learn these truths: you are enough, worthy, capable, loveable, exactly as you are.
In time, you can build up the confidence to live as your true self across all domains in your life, not just in the therapy room!
Thank you for reading. You’re welcome to share your thoughts by leaving a comment below or get in touch by using the contact form on the website.
Take care
Charlie
Disclaimer – all content is written with love and with the intention of it being helpful. The purpose is to support people in expanding their self-awareness, understanding of others, and move towards inner peace. The author is mindful that the posts may not speak to everyone (or anyone!) so take home only what feels relevant and useful for you. Please get in touch with any queries.
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